Emotional Exhaustion -- When a Diet Soda Won't Do

Obviously I have been slacking in the blog arena as of late -- I just can't think of anything important enough to blog about. Let me rephrase that... I can't think of anything more important than Katrina, or rather its aftermath. Nutrition, obesity, diet soft drinks... just not on my list of priorities right now.

And yet I am tired of talking about Katrina. Not bored of the subject or wanting to move on... not at all. Rather, emotionally exhausted. Powerless.

I've been having a hard time concentrating at work. I want to work... I want to do a good job. But nothing I do here in my cubicle seems important in comparison -- not when there are so many people so close in need of help. Not when there are homes of friends and family that need rebuilding. Not when there are hundreds of landmarks destroyed in a city I love... places that designate a community. Places that mark where I fell in love and met some of my best friends. My boyfriend of many years is/was in med school in the Crescent City. He and his family have lived there for a long time. Now they must buy new underwear and find a home elsewhere for 4+ months. Not that my connections are more important than anyone else's. But that's just it... it's a collective longing, a collective emotional loss.

And so much of what I hear about in the media is "Who is to blame?" Why do we have to place blame now? Why can't we find and ensure safety, aid, feed, shelter, clothe... rebuild... first? All the talk is lipservice. I want to rebuild, I don't want to talk about rebuilding. Why should I muster the energy for lip service? Especially when so many others are already doing so.

Yet it seems many just don't understand. Until you understand the term "neutral ground," and that Mardi Gras is a place for families, not flashing. Until you've been called "dawlin" more than your actual name, and know to greet people with a kiss on the cheek (even if you're meeting for the first time)...

Louis Armstrong said it best, "Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans, when that's where you left your heart?"